Olympia, Washington-based group Old Time Relijun’s 1999 debut album, Uterus and Fire, is an album that would be a contender for being number one on Rolling Stone’s list of the “500 Worst Albums of All Time”, if the magazine ever did a list like that. It is an album that is horrible in every way imaginable, even for late 1990s indie standards.

It’s inexcusable for the album being this awful because it’s “experminetal”, because cleary their experminetal sound, which seems to mostly consist of the members playing random things and not know what the heck they’re playing, is unbearable to listen to (especially the repitive cartoon boing sound of “Khomuz” that, while I can only take about 30 seconds of it, lasts for more than two minutes). The excuse is like saying the nick show Breadwinners has poor flash animation because it is a style the creators chose. Producer Oneohtrix Point Never is also an expermintal act, and guess what, it’s actually very listenable and sounds like actual effort!

Uterus and Fire fails being offensive, and if it isn’t meant to be taken seriously, it fails at being a joke album, because I don’t get what the joke is. I though listening to the painful auto-tuned garbage of will.i.am was I worst thing I could suffer to, until I heard to this record. I could record myself messing around with an acoustic guitar using only an input microphone of a macbook, and it would sound way better than this.

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