Almost all of these school captain speeches sound the same. They start off with a quote, put in a couple of Jokes and try terribly hard to find the balance between inspiration and comedy…. This will be no different. So what makes up a good captain speech? Basically Eve got to get up here, be serious, but not too serious, funny but not over the top and caring but not too caring, because really If I want to impress you, Eve got to figure out how to get up here, keep a smile n both my faces and yours, speak for three minutes and yet say nothing.

I could do a rap Like captains past but who am I kidding I ‘Alan’ no 360. The fact Is you may not care who the school captain Is! But at the end of the day you want somebody who can look good In photos and say 3 sentences In a row that make reasonable sense, don’t you? But what does a school captain actually do? Stand up at assembly, repeatedly tell the school to remain standing after a dodgy rendition of the national anthem, and then ay in a fake voice “that concludes today’s assembly, please wait for your year coordinators”.

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I believe a school captain should be more than Just a fake voice over a loudspeaker, more than just a photo in a newsletter, I believe a school captain should feel a sense of pride in representing their school, in representing you. A great man once said “leadership is action, not Just position”. I’m John Doe, thankful for listening.