I dedicate this book to my family. You all keep me going. A special mention for those who In the darkest of times helped. And my children Lauren, Anew, Emily and Jack stop growing so fast. Marries I owe you one.. Mike Whaley Introduction Evocation of Feeling Is a book written to show how the day to day actions and surroundings of people and events can change your emotions. I have Included the title a Culture of Poetry showing that a mixture of everyday life has inspired me to write poetry, regardless of style. My poetry is certainly a mixture of forms and I hope you enjoy it.
And to the critics, yes I have broken some of the sacred poetry rules. Times they are a changing. Sand Soldier Sometimes Ghost Why Bad Days Tears The Boxer Guardian Angel Lost in the Cold Crumbled World Contents 2 3 4 6 8 You Have Nothing To loose Hope Dream Why Do Things Man Vision Your Dead Soul Do You Remember Mr. political Man Goodbye 13 14 The Delight of my Quilt Soon to be Forgotten 7 9 11 12 15 16 Being Unwell Mum 17 Cometh the Birthday The Many 19 SAND SOLDIER Back Pack weighing me down. The sand torments me My feet slip down further and deeper into the sand. Every step painful.
The gun I carry no use, no need for it at all, my grip does not fail. How can a distant sun seem so hot. Why am I here?. The heat seems to gust through my body feeling so weak. “KEEP MOVING”, the shout goes out one bullet I could take him out. Mouth so dry blisters form inside. Why am I here?. Am I here to be a hero?. No to risky want to stay alive. Am I here to carry my countries flag?. Is my country better than yours?. I cannot remember my country it’s been a long time it’s far away in my mind. Why do they fight us we are here to help. I feel that I have failed my brothers in arms Just to doubt the reasons for me being ere.
My fallen brothers and sisters I salute you. I am sorry you are gone. My fallen enemies I am Just sorry. Those who know me back home, soon I hope I will return. But be prepared for I am a changed man. Hard Times See Some Light I know sometimes it may seem hard, never seem to play the right cards, always find a place to hide never wish to see another day, but believe me I am telling you the truth no need to fly away . You can find a brighter day… Once Look at you once so proud now crawling along the ground. Once so big you stood so tall to me, but now you have fallen. Sometimes I see you from a distance.
I hide my face looking at your large disgrace. The drugs don’t work look at you now a fallen bitter sow Crying on the floor do you know who you are who you were or where you have fallen from. But no you do not know and carry on fallen soon to be forgotten. Mad, mad as hell can you not tell. Why is everything I do so wrong but if you do it to me well Just carry on. Just take the pips out of me go on I can take it. Although my heart you Just break it. Sometimes we do things we do not like. Sometimes we run from our life. Sometimes we Just stand and fight and sometimes life can be a fright.
Sometimes we mean what we say then wish we had not said what we meant that day. Sometimes we fall. Sometimes you can stand tall but mostly we fall. Sometimes life Just gets you down all look on with a frown. Sometimes we find love and sometimes we lose it. Sometimes we cry sometimes your eyes never seem dry. Remember this though as you live on its all Just sometimes… Look at me here I am Can you see why are you looking right through me. Look at me here I am Holding out a wanton hand. Look at me fading away I will not return any day Will Nobody told me Just how hard it would be when you set me free.
I felt low when I coked into your eyes, through you once big disguise. All along you lied. Maybe time will change me but I walk away. Time they say heals the pain but I miss you all the same. So what am I, how do I feel. Why is life so real. So what am I which way do I turn What is left for me to learn How do I feel wrong, right, ready to start another fight. All trouble and strife my mixed up life. All my dreams Just seem to fall. All the choices that I made a love in decay as all my dreams Just fade. Can I look for another game to play. But I am Just a lonely heart starring at the rain, a heart that tells me to feel this pain, UT how.
I do not feel real, I try to breath slowly and calm to show I am strong, why did you do me wrong. I seem to drift through life in slow motion walking away a lost ship at sea with no place to be. Like nightmarish monsters everything you say hurts you set me free. I no longer feel any other pain. I take all the blame it’s my fault all of this though I know I am not, filled by shame. But I still feel the same, broken full of pain. But I Just walk away till the sun sets on this dismal day. Maybe one day I will see hope a far away goal with this tormented mind of a simple lost soul.. 4
Bad days are here again. I thought my world had changed but it all seems the same. I had settled down to another let down the day the letter came. It was from you about you and never mentioned my name. Just saying hello once. Hope you are well then telling me things you did not need to tell. I am so happy you are getting on with your life you mixed up cow. So happy things worked out so well. So I write back and tell how good I feel through tear ridden eyes. How happy I am deep down inside. Yeah guess what I Just lied… When an Angels tears turn to rain you feel the fear you see the pain.
When you cry I will stand by with my shoulder that you can try. Though each dusty storm may come my heart will always be. Because we are what is meant you see. Hold me can you believe, I will be there Just give me a call. I will catch you when you fall. 5 Hated. Hit to the ground punch by punch pound for pound. I try my best but nobody sees it. No more the proud one standing tall, Just in the ring ready for the fall. “silly man you are to old you have well missed the goal”. I try to stand my knees feel weak my temper has faded I feel bleak. Just one more go another smack another broken nose.
Eyes all blurry where has he gone swinging those punches feeling the anger “COME ON!. The bell it rings I take on water should I carry on do you think I ought to. I am told “come on Just one more round”. I can barely here a sound. Come on legs come on hands hit something. I see this big man steaming toward me nowhere I can run, nowhere I can hide. Have to stand tall find my pride one right swing and you could win. “Come on boy you can do it”. I feel it coming along a new feeling something strong. But I have been in this game to long. One right hit from me I could take home the nice little purse.
One wrong hit from IM taxi home a Hearse. Show me a way I can feel, I am lost. Show me the way, a new day. Show me what I do wrong. Show me how to be strong. Show me all that could be gone. Just show me, guide me I can listen. Make me choose the right path. Make me know which way to turn show me how to learn. To many mistakes that I make could be corrected. Stop me from feeling rejected. Just show me, show me the way to a much brighter day. Lost In the Cold I feel cold like my skin is cracked letting in dangerous weather. My body aches my bones seem to crunch with every step.
Is this death I face, are you coming to take this being. I am the only one here. So is this my last day. Is this the last of my life. Could have done so much more. I feel like I am falling into oblivion. To tired to carry on. I an atheist turning to God as every non believer does at his or her time. Please give me one more day Just one. Let me be saved. I sleep and hope for tomorrow. Ever changing weather. Not the same I remember. Long hot summers now we only get rain. I remember playing outside not a care in the world. Now kids have to stay inside is this not absurd.
Lazy summers parties outside now everyone stays in bed tucked up, they hide. Global Warming, the Greenhouse Effect. Whatever you call it this world is wrecked. World Gone Fluttering Butterflies scream as the sun sets on my fragmented eyes. Shattered by a distanced mind as hallowed dreams become the norm. I cry late at the moon even UN lifted by a rallied wind. I note that this is now life to behold. Toxic Polluted by the minds of those who cannot wait for there world to be gone. Money there only passion. Your mind will wither as the last health of air is replaced by gas.
Makes the lawns and trees you knew as a child missed. You cannot do a thing as you are Just one not many. A voice silenced by a big shots money You Have Nothing To Loose Watching from the side lines again. She found someone else. I am but a distant memory again. She does not look at me like she does the others. I am not like them. Just a shoulder to cry on now and then. All the years that I have known her I never told her why. I Just felt the tug at my heart strings when she said goodbye. I have always loved you and always will, whenever I think of you my heart beats still.
I have always loved you since we were young, but I never told you and for that, I was dumb. And in the later years, I look back with sincere tears. I feel ashamed of my fears. I never told you how I felt. I never asked you out for my stupid ways, I could Just shout. So to all men and women out there. Go on ask them out never live with a heart filled with doubt. The worst thing they could say is no. 9 – Hope Dream Drifting through a serene dream. Blossoms in bloom so all can see. Happiness inside Just for me. My alarm clock sings its THUNDER. Time to rise and my big surprise it rains again.
Wish I was living in my dream state instead of waking in this land I hate. Breakfast done I run through the rain to catch that early morning train. No seat for me but here never is. No free range here stuck in this cage with all people full of rage. All fed up being pushed about ready for the fight and the shout. At work I arrive Just in time. I sit at my desk in a Job I hate, fed up miserable in an upset state. ” WHY AM I HEAR”. The time it does drag when unhappy inside. Down and depressed in a Job you cannot abide. Then time for home I have missed all daylight. Leave in the dark come home at night.
Sad all the way home. Cannot wait for some sleep. I Just hope I can dream a better life. Sitting by a scenic stream. Please let me sleep please let me dream. 10 Why Do Things? Why do things go wrong, you look at the mess on the floor?. Why do things break, you look at the smashed pieces lying there?. Why does a heart ache, you feel the pain inside?. Why will you not listen, your distant look I cannot abide?. Why do you say such things,? I hear hatred in your tones. Why do I cry, and feel all alone?. Why has my smile faded away?. I cannot see any brightness today?. Why has it all changed in a moment.?
Why please Just tell me why….? It was a plate you fool not the loss of your eye. My son asked me “Dad what is the most dangerous animal on the planet” IM what he thought. “Is it Man” he seemed a little distraught. I told him that this was “fact”. I nor he liked the sound of that. What Vision do I see. Was it Television or Smelly-Vision. Was it a vision of delight. Was it a vision of happiness. . I asked A vision of you. Yes it was a vision of you, but not of me and you. It was a vision of you and he, a vision I did not wish to see. 11 Stop the torment that you bring. You are not what I hoped for within.
No tears will fall from your eyes, not even when you listen to tortured cries. No sign of disgrace for your atrocities, the pain you bring to your own race. You care only for yourself, the Dictator the War Lord the man in charge. Your Armies of fools still at large. Can you honestly say that one day what you did was right. Killing a man a woman a child to weak to fight. Your religion, your philosophy did not match. So you had them all dispatched. Do you care have you ever cared. We seem to be together, but not true for ever. I can feel us drifting away. I look at you and remember, walking hand in hand together.
Nothing ever seemed to matter with us. But I see us changing into something I do not understand. I feel you slipping far from my hand. You keep moving far away, to you it does not seem to matter. Our whole world about to shatter, nothing seems to bother you at all. 12 Mr. Political Man The Political Man slams down his hands. I was not wrong to go to send this country to war. Then those hands hold his head, never forgotten those lost or dead. The Political Man never been to war never fought at all. His only Enemy the people before him as he gained his power. The political Man will he will stand to tell his side of the tale.
From his mouth a voice so stale. The Political Man, the Man you cannot stand people killed by his hand. Brothers, sisters, mothers and fathers. The sons, daughters and wives husbands and lovers. Mr. Political man help me understand. Can you put your hand on your heart and tell me, why it was your war to start?. Mr. Political man if you had to go to the line, in your voice, you would not make that choice?. Kith nor Kin Mr. Political man, would you send in. I do not want to speak words of hatred Not one word can leave my mouth. If I think of such things, in your eyes is considered a crime.
I am but a simple man, a voice of insight that I am not allowed to share. If I was to say such things our worlds would oldie and your fury would end me. So I sit here silent. But I do have a mind and I can think, and what I would say to you if I could. You would be told that you are wrong that your God and my God are the same. It is our religion and to it you bring pure shame. A God would not produce a world of hatred the hatred is purely in your heart. The man that looks into the words of God and will change the meaning to his own ends. He calls you a soldier and soon you will ascend.
Would a God want you a destroyer of what he has created. Tomorrow you travel with your weapon at hand. It will destroy you and your mankind. A woman a child anyone who is around you. And when you do this you will also be gone. Now do you think it’s you the gates will open upon. And the shame that I feel while you do this, though my heart it really does sink deeper than you would ever think. When we were young you a little older. I remember the times I cried upon your shoulder. The times we laughed till our sides were sore, the flying of kites outdoors. I reflect once again goodbye my brother, my best friend.
The Delights off Quilt Laying in bed weary with a sleepy head. Thunder lightning crash outside as it seems two worlds collide. Rain tapping hard on my window, but I do not lift this head from my pillow. Here I am safe warm and coos and maybe a little lazy. I lie here as nature takes it’s course still calm and happy inside, thankful I am not in that weather outside. My eyes will see such a wonder as I drift into this well earned slumber. Hindsight If I let this go it will hurt me. If I stand my ground and shout in anger we all get hurt. If my mind is given time to cool then we will not fade through this.
Give me time and maybe we could work this. Please Just give me time to straighten this mind. Do not stand here and shout abuse, I know it is your nature. Do not stand here fuming the fire in me. Do as I do take a step away give a solution a thought. Hold your hand calm you soul. A life filled with anger is no place for us, things are said wrongly and regrettably. So MY City It has all changed, from when I was a lad. I came back for one last stand on it’s luxurious lawns. But look it has all changed. I suppose thing never remain the same. That’s the trouble with the building game.
The old places and shops have gone, the future moved them all on. Housing has moved to the outskirts of town, it’s enough to make this man frown. I remember all of it when it was Just pure green land, now it’s filled with cement and sand. The truth be told soon we will all pass, the generation that remembers all the green grass. Nobody left to tell you how it was, so you will Just except it Just because. What to do now, Just what should I do. Should I take this tablet and seek out life that’s new. What should I do, should I take it or not, if I do it may give me gut rot. But they tell me it may make me better, but then again it may not.
This treatment is ewe, it may cure what you got, “am I your Guiana Pig is this part of your plot”. Bloody Doctor “should I take it or not, it’s entirely up to you is that all you got”. No “take it, I promise you will get better, go on take it I will confirm it in a legal letter” But truth be told and this is completely true, you can take it or not it’s entirely up to you. 16 MUM When the time sadness comes. She will whisper in my ear she will make me feel steady again. Any heartache that I find, she will be there for me once again. For years I woke up to the sound of your voice, it would sooth my soul Just knowing you were there.
Though at times like seemed hard for me you are always there to hold my hand. Now I have grown and you a little older still to this day I will always know you will carry me on your shoulders. Feel like I am getting old. The thought of ageing I do not wish for. I feel trapped like I am coming to an end I do not wish to seek. I feel like I am to loose what youth I had left. And yes as I walk through the tunnel of age, I wish to turn back the clock. I want to be so young again, able to run able to Jump, without the need of an asthma pump. Yes it is inevitable these feeling I get every year when the birthday demon appears.