Hallucination Jack I’m Jack. I’m 25 years old. At the moment, I don’t really see my life going places anytime soon. Currently, I have no house, no money that I can say Vive earned myself and have never had a Job in my life so far. Vive managed to get by living on the sofa In front of the tell, In the lounge of my sister’s one bedroom flat. My sister Is Daisy. She is 21 and I love her more than anything else in this world. Things first started to go wrong for me when I was Just 11. The situations, delusions, scenarios, scenes, voices, I suppose that’s when It first really started to begin, Just as I started secondary school.
It was when my dad walked out on my mum, my sister and l. It was also when I smoked my first cigarette. By the time I was 14, I was starting to wreck my life. Already I was involved with the wrong crowds and was introduced into a whole new world of drugs, smoking and girls. All this along with a darkness which had not long formed In my head, was clouding up and taking priority over school. I was never intelligent anyway. I left school that year and never went back. Everything still felt dark, I began to misuse alcohol by the time I was 15.
Several times my mum took me to the doctor; again she called for one when I had locked myself in my editor for 2 weeks. Eventually, I was diagnosed with a schizophrenia disorder, which would explain the situations going on in my head that had first started when I was younger but gradually began to progress and become worse with time. Along with the diagnosis came doctors, therapists, counseling sessions 3 times a week, psychiatrists. Antispasmodic medication, more hallucinations. Higher suicide rates, more cannabis and alcohol intake and everything seemed darker than it ever had been.
When I was 16, I had no GEESE qualifications and no college that would offer me any kind of placement. So I Just let myself get worse. I got Involved with armed robbery, shoplifting, arrests and overnight cells In police stations, more drug dealers and just a whole lot of trouble. My Grandfather died just before I turned 1 7 and it tore me apart as I was the closest to him. I felt worse especially when he left a whole load of money in his will for my mum to try and better my life when I didn’t deserve It. When I was 18, I met Chanteuse and she changed my life completely, never did I love someone the way I loved her.
However much I thought she accepted me for who I was, she never did love me in the same way and used me then treated me like dirt. During my break up with her, I had made an amazing friend online called Halley. She was 16 and she really effected my life In a positive aspect, I was protective over her, loved and cared about her. I felt as If I could open up to her over every single thing that had happened to me in the past, she had always been there for me, even if it was three in the morning. Unbelievably, Halley was another thing in my life that I had to ruin.
I never meant to drag her into the centre of my life, involve her with drugs and mess her about. Since my late teenage years, Vive been a mess. The schizophrenia along with its jokers, drugs, arrests, trouble and hospitalized several times as all I ever seemed to do was become addicted to a new coping mechanism over and over again. My best friend Daniel took his own life last year. Evidently, Vive ended up chasing my own mother away; she didn’t want to have anything else to do with me. Hence why I’m living with Daisy. She’s all I have now to care about. It was cold and late one Saturday night.
Neither I nor Daisy had any plans for the night and we were sat in front of the television set watching some crummy soap. “Daisy,” I interrupted the programmer neither of us were paying any attention to and cooked towards my sister’s direction, “a takeaway? Pizza? No! I’ll get us Chinese, my treat. What you saying? ” I had EYE left from my SEA amount I got paid last week and I’d get another payment next Friday to buy whatever I needed anyway. “Only if we get sweet and sour chicken? ” she smiled and her face lit up at the thought of another takeaway and a whole load of good food. “I’ll get you anything you want! I chucked the takeaway leaflet and landlines phone towards her direction, “get egg fried rice though. ” I stood up and walked down the hall into the small kitchen. Oddly, I was randomly feeling a bit shaken and dizzy. Well it wasn’t odd or random. I knew exactly the reason why. I hadn’t taken any of my prescribed medication what so ever for the past week. Not because I wanted to be stubborn or dishonest to my sister and doctors, but because I honestly believed that I could manage well enough without them for a few days. I could see those pills sitting there on top of the fridge.
Two small cardboard boxes and one small, rounded container with my name written across them, all shouting and calling out towards me so loudly. Suddenly, I sprung round and twisted the blue tap above the sink. The freezing water came spurting out, praying droplets violently towards me. Cupping my hands underneath the tap, I let the cold water collect in my palms and splashed a cupful over my face. My eyes immediately flickered open when the freezing liquid hit my face and I was startled. Running the tea towel which was left on the oven door handle over my face, I felt refreshed.
I opened up the fridge door and searched for a can of Coke for Daisy and a can of Fosters for myself and set back down the hall Just as the door bell sounded, the Chinese guy letting us know about his presence. “Damn, all that food hit the spot. ” It was 1 1 :pm and we both were stuffed after easting on a tone load of food. “Ohm yeah. I anti half tired now though and I’m working tomorrow. I think I’m off to bed, you finish watching the film,” Daisy stood up chucked the tell remote at me, stretched and brushed the front of her pajamas down. The duvet is down the back of the sofa. You goanna be alright tonight? You’ve seemed okay recently, though the kitchen door is open. I’m in my bedroom if you need me, okay? ” she lent down and pecked my cheek and slipped away, sleepily. “Night sis,” I set back on the sofa and watched the screen. White Guys Can’t Jump will always be my favorite all time film. Eventually, about half way through the film, I began to doze off. I went to turn the light off at the switch, and then took off my Jeans to lie back on the sofa and fall asleep during the film. . Orange and red.
Flashing lights were everywhere, leaving spots in my vision. It was my back. Kicking the duvet draped across my boiling body off of me in a sudden fury, I pushed myself up with my back leaning against the black leather of the sofa. I was shaking violently. I didn’t want to move. I couldn’t even see properly. “Jack,” a gentle, soft, womanly whispering came from across from the television set. Jack. Jack. I’m here. ” I scanned the room and could see nothing. The window was wide open; the net curtains were failing around the wooden frames and the blinds were rolled up and rattling.
I could see clearly into the dark night ahead, the moon was bright and there was a grey, dull mist swirling in the air. A tall ancient tree stood across from the block of flats on the other side of the road, all gnarled and bent over looking crooked. From under the crooked, bent branches, I could see a figure. I couldn’t make out whether it was male or female with my orange haze but there was definitely meeting there. Watching me, pointing. I trembled to my feet to get a closer look out the window and to stop the loud, constant rattling of the blinds.
Just as quickly as I stood was as quickly as I fell with a thump to the wooden flooring. The soft whispering was back, bothering, refusing to leave me alone. “Jack, stand up. Jack. Jack. Jack… ” I was shivering like mad. “Who… Who is that? ” as soon as I heard myself speak, I knew something wasn’t right. My voice was too high pitched and scared. “It’s your mum. Can’t even recognize your mothers own voice when you hear it? Some son you are. The voice snapped at me, angry and upset but it was definitely that of my mothers. “No. NO. You’re not here! You said you didn’t want to be around me anymore, remember?
You do remember. I remember. And I’m sorry. I’m sorry, crystallographer’s. ” my words were rushed and mumbled. “Why though? Why are you here now? Why…? Where are you? I cannot see you” “Outside, my son. I’m ready to forgive you now for all the bad things you have done. I want to see your face son. Vive brought a friend with me. Please, come now. Show your face. ” I heard the voice. It was my mothers. And Vive longed to see her face for 5 years now. I’m coming. Please just wait there I’ll be quick. ” Slowly, I moved my hands around the floor in search of my Jeans I’d flung off earlier. Jack? ” Daisy sleepily and sluggishly called out my name from her room “are you okay? ” Her voice came louder this time as I heard her slipped feet beginning to pad from the bedroom and down the hall. Without even releasing it, I must have been loud, with all the thudding to the floor and rattling of the blinds. A sudden rush of adrenaline and energy from nowhere pounded through my body, leaving me capable of bringing myself back up to my feet. “Jack. Come on, hurry now. Or I’ll be gone. ” The eerie voice belonging to my mother whispered from somewhere in the room. “Wait please! I called back out. Frantically, I spun about on my feet in search for my Jeans and yanked them over my ankles, past my knees, until they were sitting on my hips then buttoned the top hurriedly. Quickly, I dashed around to step out the door until I was paused in my steps. Daisy was standing there right behind me, “Where are you going? What’s going on Jack, it’s nearly am. ” I prayed that she couldn’t see my limbs still uncontrollably trembling and shaking despite how hot I still felt, “Cigarettes. Vive run out okay? And l. I need more. Now. And I haven’t got any left.
I’ll run to the shop down the road quickly and so Just pass me my Chuck Tailor’s there behind you there. ” My words were rushed, didn’t make sense and they were dishonest but I knew she wouldn’t believe me if I told her our mum grabbed them myself, pulling them on faster than I ever have over my socks and lacing up tight, “Daisy! I’m okay. 15 minutes tops, go back to bed. ” I turned the lock to the flat door, not before kissing my sisters cheek as a reassurance and flew down four flights of stairs to the ground floor in order to meet my mother once again. Daisy
He must have been crazy to honestly expect me to believe that lie about going to get cigarettes. I promised my brother I would look out for him. So that’s exactly what I needed to do. The misty air I was staring at from the flat window now hit my face, hard and cutting. I didn’t have a Jacket. I was feeling the chill now. I looked across the street to the direction of the disfigured tree through the opaque fog. Amongst the grey haze, I could Just about make out the figure, which now appeared to be beckoning me towards them with a ‘come closer’ finger gesture.
The one word was racing through my head. Mum. “I’M COMING! I was shouting all my words out loud even though I had only meant for them to be heard in my own head, “WAIT, I’M HERE! ” I started to run, faster and faster towards my goal, the stinging air attacked my body but it motivated me onwards and onwards, Just reach the tree. Three meters away from the tree. Closer and closer. I could see her. She was there. Of course, she was different in looks, a few years older, sunken face, more wrinkles, whiter hair. “Mum. It’s you? ” I whispered her name, and then dared three steps closer, “can I see you? “Why did you come here! ” she barked at me angrily. Muff came here to me, you asked me to come! Confused, I didn’t know what to do or say. She had asked me here after all? Muff don’t belong to me. Why do you think your father left us? It was YOU. It was your entire fault. You ruined my family. ” She turned around and was yelling at me, pointing her fingers and pressing them into my chest. I felt a slight stinging. Her dark eyes were as black as coals but had a strange tinge of red to them, “he is back now Jack. I have not been happier since you left my life and he returned to mine.
I should have left and stayed with HIM instead of being stuck with you for many PAINFUL years of my life. ” I had belief in some of the words she as spitting at me but even so, they still stabbed and cut me like she was clawing and hacking away at me with a sharp knife. This was not what I expected my own mother to been saying to my face. From the tall shadows of the tree, another figure lurked behind her. “AHA! So he is here too! ” Mum spun around clapping her hands. As she did so, blood splutter and dripped from the fingertips. She smiled, giggled and became giddy.
The red tinge took over the full pupil color of her eyes. Slowly, the figure revealed himself by slinking out of the shadow and wrapping his pale, white, filthy hands around my mother’s waist. A head of white hair rested on my mother’s shoulders and he began to laugh a deep, devilish cackle. I was sickened. It was my father. The same as he welled up. Again, I felt like the 11 year old helpless kid, scared of his father. He detached himself from mum’s body and sprung himself out towards me. Lunging forwards for my chest, he pressed himself against me.
His eyes, demonic and red like my mothers were, glared at my own pale blue ones, his yellow teeth snarled at me and I caught the whiff of beer on his lips. Crimson red gashes and green infected wounds decorated his neck and spiraled upwards to his sunken cheeks. His itchy white beard scratched against my freshly shaven face and prickled my cheeks. He pushed his whole body weight onto mine. Everything happened quickly after that. Forcefully, his old wrinkled hands pushed down on my chest and I was sent flying down to the ground with a thud as my back collided with the earth beneath me. Please,” whimpering, I was begging for him to please leave me alone, please not to hurt me. “SCUM! Look at you! What are you? Always a weeping baby you were,” he was laughing at me, “filthy scum is all you are” his rasped, crackled voice brought back the horrible childhood memories. I tilted my head back and looked at the gleaming moon shining high up in the after midnight sky. Tears were beginning to roll down my eyes. My father leaned over me, a tall, dangerous figure, oft taller than me, making me feel like the smallest ant. He spat on my face. The spit was bloody and warm. From nowhere came a blow to my ribs.
And another and another and another. Hard kicks into my body that were coming from him. Then mum came walking over towards my body on the ground. Laughing and laughing, she began to join in with the kicks and blows. Blood dripped from their bodies which were now coated in red from head to toe. The orange dots returned and appeared in the corners of my vision and began to flash strongly. They were dancing and bouncing, jumping around. I could barely see my parents dripping their blood over me. Hazed. The lights were taking over. I reached blackout once again. . I woke up feeling rough. I can’t have been out for long.
The night was still dark and the air was still cutting. My head was pounding and my ribs were throbbing. All over, my body was in complete pain and agony. Gradually, I sat up in dizziness. I rubbed my forehead. I was absolutely stunned by the surrounding. Leaves rustled softly in he quietness of a deep sunless forest. Other than that, it was complete silence. For miles on end was a complete labyrinth and entanglement of trees. All of them were towering, threatening and distorted like the one back by the flats. In complete disbelief over what had happened before I was blacked out, I began crying out loud.
The tears Just came splashing down my cheeks and onto the top of my lips, tasting salty and unpleasant. Look at me. My father was right. I was nothing but a pansy. Gathering a handful of dry, fallen leaves, I crunched them up tightly in a fistful and watched them crinkle and turn into tiny, bitsy flakes of nothing. I stood up and kicked the leaves furiously around aimlessly and watched them float around in the air. I began walking. I wanted to be home now. Head down, hands in the pockets of my jeans, I began to walk. From nowhere came a loud ‘SNAP! ‘ sound, like someone treading on the fallen branches and twigs of the trees.
I paused abruptly in my tracks. Slowly and cautiously, I turned back around from where the snapping came from. There in front of my eyes she stood, tall and slim Just like when I first met her. Her bright, radiant blonde hair blew out from behind her, her cherry glowing lips that her mouth. She glowed in the moonlight. I rubbed my eyes. I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. The clothes she was wearing where slightly dirty and torn in some places. Her eyes were the same red color as the ones both my parents had placed in their sockets. However hard I looked at those demonic red eyes, she still looked flawless.
I parted my own lips. My voice barely a whisper, “Chanteuse? ” “Hey, hey baby. You missed me? ” Chanteuse stepped delicately over the leaves towards my direction, grinning with her white teeth. “What are you doing here? ” I was angry now. First my parents and now Chanteuse. Everyone was out to come cooking for me tonight. The way she was walking towards me in her ripped Jeans with her red eyes made me feel threatened and panicky, “what do you want now? I loved you all those years ago, and you left me like I was nothing. ” “l Just wanted to say hello to you!
I thought you’d be happy to see me tonight! Don’t be this way now. ” Her presence was centimeters away from my body and she slowly ran a rose painted fingernail down my left arm, leaving an unpleasant chill running through me. “Leave me alone Chance. Not now. Please. I said I wouldn’t let this happen again. You’re not to mess with my head Chance. Go please. I was panic struck. I placed my hands over my head, and shook myself slightly. “Don’t tell me what to do! ” slyly she spoke and moved her body around me in circles, sending my head into a maze, like the twist of trees I was stood in now.
Slowly, I felt her breath nearing the back of my neck. She breathed deeply and slowly like a rabid animal. I froze and let her air tickle my neck. Then she rested her chin on my shoulder and tilted her head slightly to the side so she had a clear side view of my face. I did not look down for I knew I would be terrified of the sight I saw. I took the slightest glance. The pale teeth that not long ago sat perfectly straight in her mouth had now turned into the longest, daggered, blood covered fangs. I yelped out loud like a puppy, petrified of the gleaming teeth and pushed her back away from me with my arm.
Again, I dared to turn back around to look at her face. “Well Jack. That was a mistake,” red and gleaming, the cold eyes stared deeply right into my soul. “STAY AWAY CHANCE PLEASE! ” uncontrollably my arms and legs had begun to shake and tremble furiously all over again as I backed up away from Chance and her glistening eyes and fangs. Her body hunched over, her arms ere out ready to leap and grab me all over. “Give me a hug Jack,” the voice which spoke did not belong to Chanteuse. It didn’t belong to the girl I had met 8 years ago. It was infernal.
She was ready to pounce all over me and sink her teeth deep into my body. “Please. Please. Please,” I wanted out now, this was all enough. I could not stand being here in this Jungle of trees, my head pounding, my body shaking, my heart racing. I closed my eyes and whispered the word to myself, “please, please, please, please. ” One sudden movement, one pounce and she were on top of me and I was pushed back down to the ground all over again. She had her legs pinned on top of mine and she pushed her claws on top of chest. The red glassy eyes were on fire. Blazing red.
The teeth were sleek and shiny and the once perfectly in place hair flew widely like a mane around her face. “Don’t make me force you off me Chanteuse,” if there was one good thing my father had taught me from when I was young and it was never to hit a girl. I’d stuck by that teaching ever since I was 10 years old. Mimi would around my throat. Her head lowered to my neck and she licked her fangs hungrily. I was gasping for air. I pushed her, hard and firm in the stomach. She fell to the left side of me. Clawing and dragging her nails into my arm, she tried desperately to hold on to me. Never was I up on my feet so quickly.
My first sudden thought was to run and get as far away as I possibly could from the blood-thirsty woman who I once dated back when I was 18. Since when in hell did my ex-girlfriends turn into vampires? This was all so insane. The way she stared at me like she was a dog drooling over a piece of thick steak with those gleaming red eyes. As if she was ready to kill me any second. Running fast, my feet thumped through the grassy ground and crispy leaves. My earth felt like a fist pounding heavily inside my chest; my ears were ringing and my head as if it could explode any moment. Did I dare a look back over my shoulder?
Lowering my pace, I looked hastily back over the direction of where I came from. “AHHHHHHHHH! ” a high pitched screaming sound escaped from Chanteuse’s now blood-stained mouth. Blood trickled down from her chin and dripped onto her chest. There she stood, only 10 meters away from me. Grinning, she clasped her hands tightly together, turning them whiter than they already were once she had noticed me releasing her presence and licked her lips. Now Jack, I’m aware someone’s been missing their mummy and daddy ohm? ” all cutesy and innocent school girl-acted, she tilted her head to the side cooing and mocking me “COME! She shouted aloud raising her arms up to the sky as if to be summoning someone or probably something. From nowhere, wet droplets fell from the grey clouds lingering above me and onto my head and bare arms. The rain grew stronger and heavier very quickly. Loud crashing thunder boomed through the sky and shook the trees dangling overhead. I could hear and feel the sound of my own heartbeat pumping far too quickly in my head. I could feel the rain absolutely gushing downwards and soaking my skin. I could feel the desirable urge to crumple to the ground and curl up into the smallest ball to be left there to die.
However, I didn’t crumple to the ground. I was not so easily defeated. I Just stood there, staring at the possessed girl standing meters away from me yet again. Tilting my head upwards towards the branches and lifting my arms out to the side of my body, I shouted as loud as I could make my voice go, “WHAT DO YOU WANT? ” the rain instantly began to slow and the thunder immediately stopped, lowering my arms back to my sides. Chanteuse looked back up to me. Muff,” she simply said to my face. There was a flicker of movement from the shadows behind from where Chanteuse was standing. “Chance, please,” panicked, I looked around, frightened.
My voice, small and needy, matched the way I sounded when I would call her in the middle of the night, feeling threatened by my own thoughts all those years ago, praying for all the darkness to Just disappear. Tonight, I’m frightened by my own thoughts once again. My mother again. Appearing from behind Chanteuse, I could see that the red eyes still remained. Chance laughed, “So mummy does love you after all. Sweet,” I paid no attention to the words falling out of her mouth and focused my eyesight on mum’s face. Dripping with blood still, she was possessed by another sort of demon too. STAY AWAY FROM ME PLEASE,” I was scared and frightened all over again, “Please go now, I don’t want any of you. ” “Not even me? ” again, my father came creeping out from behind Chanteuse. No longer could I ever been in his existence, I was done with everything he had ever put me through. No longer would I be scared. Recklessly, I walked slowly towards my father. He was the only thing in my eye line. Enough was enough. I tilted my head up, level to his. “Especially. Not. You. ” I spoke slowly and carefully so he could clearly understand that I was done with him completely, spitting and snarling with empathic on every single word.
I turned and walked calmly away. “Big mistake, son,” he spoke Just as calmly. “l am no son of yours,” and I continued walking onwards. “I’d run if I were you,” Chanteuse cackled, interrupting my walking, “run real fast, little boy. ” A sharp excruciating pain Jolted straight through my chest. I turned and glanced a look behind me. Chanteuse more to the front, my mother and father standing slightly Enid, they lined up in triangle formation. Behind them was a long row of bloody, red dripping frenzied beings. Some vampires like Chance; some coated in blood and wounded like my parents, some zombie looking.
All of them with the same glassy red eyes, digging and searching deeply into my soul. The insufferable pain Jolted through me again. I took a double take when I had adjusted my eyes to look at the faces of creatures standing before me. A doctor wearing a bloody suit, a drug dealer smoking a Joint, the girl I had a one night stand with, a psychiatrist holding a clipboard, a teacher with a stern Judging kook, a police officer holding bent handcuffs, the old woman who had a shop I once stole from when I was a teen wore a bloody blouse and float skirt, a paramedic wearing his green suit… Gain covered crusty with blood. Daniel, my best mate, was there amongst them all, even though I KNEW he was dead. Then my heart sank as I continued to scan the many faces of demons. Her hair was dyed the electric blue, the exact same shade she wore when she was 16, never had I seen it any different color and it was still all fluffy and swooshed over her face. I used to love teasing her by touching it all the time. But she was like the rest of them. Her bright green eyes had been replaced with the threatening red ones. Blood splattered weightily over her chest and white t shirt she wore. Halley.
I wanted to run right at her and wrap my arms tightly around her the way I did when tears were streaming down her face when she was sad, the way I did when I hadn’t seen her for months. It had been years since I last saw her and the want for a tight hug with her now felt not even wanted, but needed. And now she was here standing right before my eyes. But it wasn’t her; I knew it wasn’t her deep down. I was stunned. And extremely scared. Run, Jack,” Hallway’s mouth moved ever so Without another thought I took off, my breathing heavy, my arms were pumping to the side of me, my legs striding. As soon as my legs were off, so were theirs.
It was a chase. Vampires and demons and all these beings that I knew never really existed were after me. For what? What had I done? “BUT YOU CAN’T RUN FOREVER,” Halley screeched. I glanced back and took a look. Her body was covered head to foot in shining black scales, and she had black, satin-like wings growing from her back. She also had beautiful black feathers from the top of her head to the back of her neck. In ere mouth she has long, sharp, dagger like fangs. She also has a long, thin, black tail and sharp claws. Well, I would sure try to run as far away from this nightmare as I possibly could.
The early morning was ticking on and on. Anytime soon, the sky would become lighter and I’d be able to find my way out easier. All I’d done so far is run in a straight line right ahead of me and for that moment, that’s all I intended to do. Screeching and inhuman howling noises exploded from behind me through the once silent forest of trees. I didn’t know how to think anymore, I didn’t understand why this was all happening to e. My head was exploding. I was trying too hard to think. Some part of me was even saying to turn around and accept whatever drugs the dealer had and ruin myself completely.
Still, I couldn’t tell in the moment whether it was me Just imagining it because I’d been in this Jungle of trees for much longer than I would have liked, but I could see a field of green grass ahead of me surrounded by a tall set of black, pointy gates and railings. They didn’t really look very inviting but it was the only chance I could see towards some kind of safety. It is whatever was behind those gates or the beasts oiling after me and in my opinion the gates seemed the safest option. Anything was surely safer than possessed demons who had all once played a part in my life one way or another.
The early morning sky began to grow lighter and the air cleared slightly of mist. Sweat trickled down my forehead and I could feel the back of my t shirt soaked through. I was so nearly there. Just sprint a little further. My breathing was slow and heavy, my arms pumped harder at my sides and my legs were striding harder and faster than they ever had before. Without any second thought I was through those gates as soon as I was close enough. Then I nearly cried out with fear. My heart nearly sank to the pit of my stomach. Where I was standing, was graveyard. Tombstones placed in the ground for miles further than the eye could see.
I was trapped here, “Daniel,” my voice was barely a and I felt my eyeballs darting around all over the place making me feel dizzy. “And soon you will be. Let us take you Jack. ” His voice was soft, gentle and understanding, and it stung so much to hear it again. I wanted to trust his words right now, his persuasive, convincing tone of voice that I once trusted with all my life. In one swift movement, I turned from his gravestone to face the monsters. All of their faces were ad. Some of them I loved, some of them I hated even, some of them had once betrayed me and some of them had even saved my life.