I sped down the hill towards the jump. I remember hitting the crest, soaring into the air and touching down gently on the other side. I was ecstatic. I had finally done it. I was so close to backing away and going through another year of disappointment. It was the last day of the season, and I was heading up to the ski hill alone. “Today was the day” I said to myself. Of course I’d been saying It to myself every day for the past few weeks, but today really was the day.

There was going to be no fooling around today, no waiting until the last run to make my attempt. This was the day I would finally land a backfill. Suddenly, I was there, at the top of the runway for the Jump. Nervously shaking and fidgeting. I wanted to do It so badly, but all that was going through my head was; what If I hurt myself? What If I get made fun of? What If I look Like an Dildo? These were the same thoughts that had raced through my head every time I had stood here. Eventually I always decided against trying the trick, and skied off.

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But there was always that burning desire to land it, at least once, searing in the back of my mind. And it would be there as long as I didn’t at least try. Then, someone appeared next to me, waiting in line, waiting for me to go. It was now or never, either I back down like I always have or finally man up and attempt the backfill. I set off towards the Jump, picking up speed quickly as I raced down the hill. Time seemed to slow down as I approached the Jump, was I really going to do it?

I could visualize myself going through the steps, throwing my head back, following through with my body, spotting the landing, and bringing my legs around just in time to drop down on the snow. There was no turning back now. I flew off the jump like an eagle taking flight, spun gracefully and stomped the landing way down the hill. I had done it, and I was alive! I had lived to tell the tale. Though it may seem a bit ridiculous, the only thing going through my head was; what took me so long?