A Wakeup Call Death! It’s a natural part of life and we all must experience It someday, and we never expect It to happen to us or the ones we love the most. Death Is Like a thief In the night, it creeps up on us when we least expect it. Recently, three months ago on May 22nd I lost my favorite aunt Sandra Teresa Jackson. My second mom. She was the lady that I thought I would have forever, the lady that always made me feel loved when I didn’t, the lady with the biggest and brightest smile ever, the smile that pops up in my head even as I write. It was a tragedy in my life that I will never forget.
Losing someone so valuable to you can bring out a burst of feelings and emotions you never knew you had, the feeling of extreme hurt, sadness, and emptiness, but with every loss comes a lesson. Early this year around February my aunt went into the hospital, and when she got there they ran a lot of test on her. The doctor had determined her heart was bad and she would need surgery. A week later she had her surgery and came out fine, everything was going to be okay, so we thought. Days went by and she was still In the hospital and she slipped into a coma.
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So many Houghton racing through my mind, Is she going to make It, God please let her pull through, and I pray she is okay. The thought that was craved in my mind was that she was going to die reflecting from when I was young and I lost my other aunt to cancer after she slipped into a coma. I prayed that this was not the case. One night after bible study my mom and dad decided they wanted to go visit her, but I didn’t want to “l don’t want to see her like that” I said, still reflecting back to the memories from my past experience. They were still determined to go whether I wanted to or not.
We arrived at COMIC Hospital and pep. _, as we walked our way to the elevator and proceeded to the third floor I begin to feel chills run through my body. As they went in my dad pointed and said “There is the waiting room you can sit there till we come out. ” While I was in the waiting room bored out of my mind, watching Dora the Explorer, sitting there swinging my feet back and forth looking at every nurse that passed by, Impatiently waiting on my mom and dad so I could leave I heard a voice In my head, It said “What are you doing?
Why aren’t you back there? This could be the last time you ever get to see her, don’t take her life for granted. That voice and those words made my soul tremble and frightened me. After that I immediately I pulled my cell phone from my back left pocket, called my mom and asked her to come let me in. As I saw her through the window walking my way to open the door I became very nervous. How would I react? What was I going to say to her? How would she look? All these thoughts were racing through my head as I slowly walked my way to the room where she was.
When I pulled back the curtain and walked In with my mom behind me and my dad sitting in a chair on the right side of the bed, the gospel music laying, I looked up and gazed into her face and I felt a little bit of a relief. She looked so peaceful and worry free. It was nothing like I expected, that made me smile in side. Still unsure of what to say I quietly looked at her speechless for five minutes, rubbing my hand up against hers, still feeling the warmth in her body was a blessing. “Talk to her” my mom said, I proceed to open my mouth but no words came out.
What 1 1 :54, “Okay lets go,” my mom said. They each kissed her on the forehead, said “l love you” and started to walk out the door. My mom looked back and noticed me still tanning there “Come on Neighs,” she said, “Give me a minute,” I responded and they proceeded out the door. After they left I began to talk to her, I held her hand and I prayed for her. While I was praying my hand in hers I felt her grip my hand a little bit, “Did she know it was me,” I thought. After that I gave her a kiss on the cheek and walked out. I felt so much better.
A few weeks went by and we received the good news, after being in a coma for a month and a half my aunt had waken up, my heart filled with Joy. I was happy and nothing could mess up my day, all the worrying was ever. A few days later we went to see her again, she was awake but she couldn’t talk which was frustrating for her and me because no one could understand what she was trying to say. My mom understood her the most. While I was standing at her side holding her hand, she tried to mouth something to me but I couldn’t understand her, so I asked my mom to translate for me. She said she doesn’t like the nurses and she wants you to be her nurse,” my mom said. “l wish I could,” I thought to myself. That day I made up my mind what I wanted to do with my life, I was going to be a nurse. We stayed there for a few hours until my aunt fell asleep then we left. Days went by and slowly but surely she got better, her voice came back and soon she was well enough to return home. When she got home she was doing great. We went to see her as often as we could. On Monday May, 2012 she went to the doctor’s office for a check up and they said she would have to stay overnight.
She was home for about two months, then she was hospital bound again. We called the hospital to see what was wrong with her and they assured us she would be okay. No biggie she’ll be home soon we thought. The next day while we were at church sitting around socializing and laughing, my mom got a call, it was my dad. Everything was fine until I heard her say someone died, and my heart dropped to my stomach. I wasn’t going to panic yet I didn’t know who it was. I saw the tears begin to fall from her eyes. “What’s wrong momma? ” me and my sisters asked, “Teresa is dead,” she responded.
Instantly it felt like everything in my body shut down as I walked away and begin to weep. “Come on lets go,” my mom said, gathering me and my siblings, we got in the car and sped to the hospital. When we got there we parked, evacuated the car, and quickly walked to the elevators and went up to the 3rd floor, still hoping to myself that this was all a mistake and she was still alive. Upon getting off of the elevators I heard all the cries and I knew right then and there it was real. I walked into the room and I saw all of my family crying uncontrollably.
I went over to my little cousin grabbed her and hugged her tight and we cried together. “Neighs my mommy is gone, I want my mommy,” she said to me, my heart filled with remorse and hurt. My aunt was still in the hospital deed the morticians had not come yet. When we built up enough strength I took my little cousin back to see her mom. When we got in there I burst into tears again and I just stared at her with the tube in her mouth and her eyes taped closed, lying there lifeless, praying she would Just pop up and Joke would be on me.
It was an image I couldn’t bare to see so I walked out and went back to where the rest of my family was. Looking at her kid and her grandchildren tore me up inside, because I knew they mistreated her and they never thought the day would come when they would lose ND hurt they cried the hardest. Later we all went outside and sat in front of the hospital and waited for the mortician, some still crying others was socializing, and others sitting their quiet as if they were in deep thought. At AAA. M. He morticians finally arrived and we all followed them back to her room to say our last goodbyes and give her kisses before we went home, by then she was cold. Inside I begged God to bring her back, I didn’t want to feel the hurt I was feeling and I surely didn’t want to see my family hurt. At 12:30 we all went home, but I couldn’t sleep, I cried night after night with the image of her lifeless body lying there engraved in my head. “Why God, who’d you have to take her from me? Why didn’t you make her better? ” I questioned God.
After all those times I told others not to question God because God does everything for a reason, I did Just the opposite. “Everything will be okay, she’s in a better place, she doesn’t have to hurt anymore,” everyone would tell me, but I didn’t see the light at the end of the tunnel, all that they said to me went in one ear and out the other. I didn’t want to hear it, my world was shattered. It has been three months ND it still hurts as if it were yesterday and every time I think about it, I cry inside, but somehow I now have the strength to bear it.
I guess time really does heal all wounds. Now that my mind isn’t clouded with hurt, I am able to understand that she wasn’t mine to keep, yes I loved her but God loved her more. My aunt’s death was a wake up call to me and a lesson learned. Eve lost many relatives in life but none of them hit close to home like hers did. Losing someone so close to me opened my eyes and it reminded me that someday we all must die. We won’t be here forever, so that taught me to live my life and do what makes me happy. That saying “Life is too short to be anything but happy,” had proven itself to be true.
My advice to you is to learn to forgive and let go, always let those that you are closest to know that you love them, live, love, laugh, be adventurous, take chances, and live everyday like its your last because every day could be your last, you never know. Don’t put off something for tomorrow that can be done today because truth is you are not promised tomorrow or even the next second. Don’t take life for granted, that includes your life and the people around you. Life is a precious gift do not waste it.